Many women want their partners to be active participants in the hysterectomy process but aren’t sure exactly what to ask for. And the same goes with partners – they want to help but simply don’t know what to do. Relationship stress during the hysterectomy recovery process can lead to a prolonged recovery time and post-surgery depression. You are wise to be thinking about your relationship before your hysterectomy and how to make the process work for the both of you. In order to assist you and your partner with this process, we have composed a list of questions that you can your partner can discuss in the weeks leading up to your hysterectomy surgery. You may want to print out the list and alter the questions to be specific to your lifestyle and relationship.
- Partners often want to fix their partner’s problems and might have a hard time just listening to frustrations and complaints. Does your partner struggle with this? If so, let him or her know there are times you just need to vent.
- Do you want your partner to attend all your doctor’s appointments with you? Let them know they will need to make accommodations to do this and be sure to give them the dates and times ahead of time as much as possible.
- Is it important for you that your partner understands exactly what happens during the surgery? Point them to some of your favorite websites or videos.
- What can your partner do to help you prepare both emotionally and physically before the surgery? Shop for comfy pajamas with you, take a yoga class with you, have the house cleaned, etc.
- Do you want your spouse with you the entire time you are at the surgery center?
- How can your partner assure you that the house/kids/dog/cat will be taken care of while you are in surgery and recovering?
- Do you feel comfortable with your spouse talking to others about your surgery? What about inviting friends and family over to visit while you recover?
- How do you want to approach sex after hysterectomy? Do you want to talk about how you are feeling after your doctor has approved you to be sexually active, or would you rather be spontaneous?
- How can your partner make you feel loved? Do you like to be touched or would you rather not be touched for a while? Do you need a daily affirmations like a verbal “I love you” or would you prefer a silent shoulder to cry on?